why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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