i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
