well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize