Got a toothbrush?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
