Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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