dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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