just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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