it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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