just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You left your underwear on the fireplace
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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