i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
