Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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