I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I CAN MOONWALK!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
