Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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