Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize