Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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