can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
