using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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