Your face is a jimmy john
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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