47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
my liver is dry heaving
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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