I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
