if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
love makes seman taste better
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You pole danced in your parka.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
