did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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