Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
