awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
