we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
