508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
