Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
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