i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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