I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
