Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
