her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
