My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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