Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
