i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
