So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
