and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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