I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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