woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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