Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i need to put some appletini on your dick
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
