Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
