So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Small penises have feelings too.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
