Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
