i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
