No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
