Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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