I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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