YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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