you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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