i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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