So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize