I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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