Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
