Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
