A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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