she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
even my farts smell like vagina
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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