so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
