I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
