am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
