she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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