You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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