Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
