used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
