yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
third nipple confirmed
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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