Betty ford says i'm here all night
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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