Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
