It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I still have a little drunk in my system
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
