I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
